Sentience Remembrance

Through the 5 senses, we can remember them…as explored in this poem dedicated to my late boyfriend, who died by suicide a year ago.

In just one split of an instant
Life force entirely withdrew
With your vitality vanished
I find myself severed in two

As heavens expand between us
I fear I’ll recall less each day…
So, I think back through the senses
To keep time’s forgetting away

I’ll always smell you as diesel
From the truck you tried to repair
And later, the antiseptic
Congealing the hospital air

I can still taste the cheap cigars
We inhaled as an attempt to cope
The blandness of the Psych Ward’s meals
where you hid your disorder’s scope

I almost still hear your singing
Of single half-melodic lines
Always found it quite endearing
How you’d repeat them so many times

And, while your laughter still cuts me
It’s your voice I try to repress
The sound of its damage haunting
Scarred, by the life support process

I still see the flash of brilliance
Intensely piercing through your eyes
But yet, with a sense of softness
When returning silent replies

And I still feel your energy
In brief moments I feel in tune
So, I remember through senses
Until we will meet again soon

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Rising In Love

Waves seep over sand,
The Sun crests,
We’re hand in hand.

Daybreak’s unfolding,
To a shared beholding,
Our minds are molding…
I can feel us growing–together.

We converge concurrently,
You mirror me back to me,
I now see, that our energy,
Is feeding off each other…

What was once was I, only–
Then, so proud to be lonely–
Is now us in sync, I rethink,
My innate pull to isolation…

With consideration, I recognize,
That the rise reflected in your eyes,
Tightens my transcendental ties,
To the source and all that may comprise.

As you pulse through my soul,
I see I’m part of the whole,
And each second has played a role,
To amount to this singular moment…

The two of us aligned in divine time,
I sense my inner peace as a sign,
That your company completes mine,
I feel I belong, here is meant for me….

I’ve found this new memory
With you–pure serenity–
And it beats every,
Single sunrise alone.

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Unrelatable

By learning you, I’m deceiving me,
As common ground sprouts unfound knowing…
But how can I find you relatable?
When I can only see what’s showing?

The limits of your introspection
Prevent you from learning your own brain,
While your narrow means of expression
Dictates the parts you share and explain

Even if you could truly show me
The caverns of your inner being
I’d find a way to misinterpret–
For my lifetime frames how I’m seeing

You see, bias and beliefs I bring
To the intersection of me and you…
Obscuring your truth and totality
Accumulating in a narrow view

Still then, there’s your constant evolution
Sculpted by pressures of the hands of time,
It prevents my precise interpretation
You’re impossible to pinpoint and define

Preconceptions, privacy, and change
Prevent me from learning you as true
Since I cannot really know someone,
I’m deceiving me, by learning you.

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Zest

The boredom of the mundane
evaporated as you rose,
and ascended into my center.

Now boundless and bursting,
I find myself vibrant–
raging alive,
blazing aglow,
from the zest you cast upon me.

My life-force zapped by your connection,
I’m electrified…
each cell stands erect,
and dimensions flood my flatness.

You breathe vigor into my body,
as my smokey lunges revive
from the crispness infused in your exhale.

At ease, I’m expanding in bloom,
overflowing with child-like awe,
until I’m ripping at the seams,
passion and purpose pouring out.

With engagement and absorption,
I’m now enthused by the present moment,
yet eager for what’s approaching–
making more out of this life,
All because of you.

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